Friday, December 29, 2006

Ek Glassy, do glassy...

‘Honey…’ I say in a melodious voice
‘Yeah?’ asks hubby warily. ‘You know those headaches I’ve been having?’
‘um-hmmm’ he says even more warily. ‘Well, I think we should do something about it. I plan to visit the opthal tomorrow.’ I say.
‘You mean they were real? Wow. OK. Yes. Opthal. Good.’ Says much relieved Hubby.

Evening, at Opthal.

‘Place your chin here please’ says Doc- pointing to a large intimidating thingummy. I do. ‘erm…. Rest your forehead as well..’ say amused doc- I had poked the chin forward and was looking like I was ready to bay at the moon.- which apparently is not how they check eyes nowadays. After looking at an ice-cream truck and white picket fences with both eyes for a while I hear… ‘hmmmm…’ ‘Interesting. Very Interesting.’ - Now that is not what you want anybody who’s peering into your eyes- who’s not drunk or your romantic love-interest, to say.
‘What? What??’ I ask nervously.
‘ hmmm… lucky… I wonder…’ murmurs Doc, to himself, completely ignoring a sweating me on the chair.
Finally, he pushes the machine away, thrusts an owlish looking frame upon me and asks me to read the gibberish alphabets chart. As I real the Last line… ‘ P N O U…’
‘No? hmmm… now? Yes, yes… I see…’
He sees? He sees?? Well, I don’t… Isn’t that why I was there? And things had only become foggier…

After a series of swapping glasses, and flashing blinding lights into my eyes, he says, ‘Yes. Are you driving?’
Startled by this sudden change in subject, I stammer ‘eh? Who? Me? Now? Right. No.’
He lapses back into silence with only annoys me more.. not only does he pass sweeping statements like ‘interesting’ and ‘lucky’ while peering into my eyes, he’s now taken to asking me about my driving habits and then going into these pensive silences… well, ok… so I forget to give that occasional hand signal (while turning, you perverts, not the one you gave to the boor honking his horn behind you), and yes, there was that one time when I had parked illegally for five minutes, but I failed to see what business it was of his… ‘ Good. The nurse will put some drops into your eye that will blur your vision for the next six hours.’ he said, interrupting my thoughts. Oh. I saw all… or rather was about to not-see at all in the next couple of minutes.

Five minutes later…
‘hmmm…’ said doc. I wished he would expand his vocabulary. Even eskimos have only so many words for ‘snow’.
‘so whats the verdict, Doc?’ I ask, looking at what I though was his face.
‘you’ll have to wear glasses, of course.’ Said a voice from behind me. I whipped my head around- I had been talking to Doc’s reflection. Further proof that I needed glasses, I guess. Glasses? That was the reason I was termed ‘lucky’ and ‘interesting’? feeling oddly deflated at such a mundane reason for the excitement, I staggered out into the waiting area, trying to stuff the prescription into my bag- and succeeding after 3 attempts. Back in the Doc’s cabin I could hear the voices floating out…’hmmm… inetresting…’ followed soon after by a panicky ‘what? Eh?’
Poor Sod. I could have told him he needed glasses.

13 comments:

Iyer Education said...

there... now you complete the good looking iyer mami checklist

kancheepuram saree - check
1/2 kg jewellery - check
kiddo for company - check
gold framed glasses with wire so that the glasses dont fall - taken care of with this post

so there... now you are officially entitled to go to iyer ocassions and incessantly talk about somebody's mom-in-law, attai, daughter-in-law et al with ELAN (elan-e-jung)

Ruch said...

Join the club!

La vida Loca said...

Iyer is right :D

Sense said...

iyer: KAncheepuram sarre????? sorry?
1/2 kg jewellery? we belong to a poor agraharam, dude... :D

ruch: yeah... see ya in 'em later topday.. you'll be the first to cath a glimpse, i guess.

Loca: really? But I only gossip about office mates- mom-in laws, daughters-in-law, ect... don't feature.

Instinctive Traveller said...

amma! waat bigg eyes u r having! all the better to waat? (blinks...)

Iyer Education said...

wat is agraHARAM the closest cousin that i know of is called namakHARAM

Brad said...

The mutterings of the doc reminds me of the Shouting Hat in Harry Potter. Remember? Remember?

But seriously, you were not 2 buttons loose, when he said, 'lucky' - Mebbe he was just referring to himself :P and 'interesting' as compliments to you. :P !?

Sense said...

bloom: the b'a'tter to see ewe with, naturally! (winks)

iyer: tsk tsk... you have shown your lack of 'iyer-ish' by claiming ignorance of Agrahaarams. Tamil Maamis everywhere are up in arms about this serious slip in basic iyer-education.

Brad: Yeah, Luck , Thin me. Where's My MOney??

Brad said...

It's with Tina! Ask her to come with a measuring tape. :)

Keshi said...

Happy New Year girl!

Keshi.

KJ said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR....

hows the lil one doing?

:)

KJ

Sense said...

Brad: the chick is absconding with your measuring tape and moolah.

Keshi:Ditto!!!

Kj: and to you too!!!

Keshi said...

Glasses look sexy on pretty chicks :)

Keshi.