Cater(wauling) 2 U

This song is wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start.
Gone are the days of ‘Survior’, Beyonce and co. now want us to cater to our respective men- which is fine- but I draw the line at fetching his slippers!

The first paragraph seems fair enough with them crooning about how wonderful the man is and her being all agog about showing her appreciation… then begins the bizarre lyrics, which reads like a beauty treatment at an expensive spa- complete with manicure, pedicure and foot rub. Huh? Baby, I love you, I really do, but if you’ve had a tough day at work, well my job ain’t no picnic, and I certainly am NOT extracting your feet out of those smelly socks to give you a pedicure!

Kelly then gets into this bizzaro act herself, and insists that if she’s not being subservient to this chap(who is he? The king of Utopia?), there are going to be plenty of women who’ll be falling all over themselves do be so! Um, apparently ladies, maturity, trust and equality in a relationship are passé, and the only way to hang on to your man is ‘to keep yourself up’. God help you if you’re a bit podgy, or in the family way- coz you see, the man is apparently going to run in the opposite direction, if he comes home and finds you not sporting a tight, skimpy hot number and you hair doesn’t look as if you’ve walked out of a shampoo commercial. All this naturally, after you’ve made that five course gourmet meal and run his bathwater…

Michelle of course doesn’t want to be left out in this race to be the World’s Most Subservient Woman. She expounds on the many virtues of ‘her man’, pledges her undying love to this chap, who she will naturally serve even on her deathbed. Strangely enough, the man doesn’t need to be too… anything- since she loves him ‘just the way he is’!

Now I don’t know WHAT Destiny’s Child were thinking when they penned this drivel. Maybe they decided they needed a larger male fanbase- which could have been easily achieved with skimpier clothing, and they could be singing about snow in Alaska, and they’d still have ‘em riveted… but at least women wouldn’t be subjected to ideas and lyrics that would make a caveman blush.